Broken
by FairytalesHappyEndings
Summary: What if during The Pack Xander gets farther than he did in the episode, it scars Buffy up until Halloween night when she gets turned into Lady Elizabeth and once again when a stranger tries to have his way with our favorite slayer guess who comes to her rescue? A knight clad in leather.
1. Chapter One: Possesion

…

 _ **This story is my response to a challenge that was posted on Elysian Fields (A wonderful place to go if you love Spuffy) , I am not exactly sure how I am gonna go about it, any ideas or thoughts please comment with helpful hints and tips :)**_

"Why couldn't Xander be possessed by a puppy or, or some ducks?" Willow asked.

"That's assuming 'possession' is the right word." Buffy replied shrugging.

"Oh, I'll say it is. The Masai of the Serengeti have spoken of animal possession for, for generations. I... I should have remembered that." Giles stated flustered.

"So how does it work?" Buffy asked

"Well, apparently there's a, a sect of animal worshipers known as Primals. They believe that humanity, uh, consciousness, uh, the soul, is a, is a perversion, a dilution of spirit. Uh, to them the animal state is holy. They are able, through trans-possession, to, to, um, draw the spirit of certain animals into themselves." Giles read continuously looking back and forth between the book and the girls.

"And then they started acting like hyenas." Buffy replied simply.

"Well, only the most predatory of animals are, are of interest to the Primals, so, uh, yes, yes, that would fit, yes." Giles replied cleaning his glasses.

"So, what happens to the person once the spirit's in them?" Buffy asked

"If it goes unchecked…" Giles trailed off. He hands Buffy a book open to a certain page. She takes one look, slams the book shut and gets up.

"I gotta find Xander." Buffy declares. Willow picks up the book and sees the drawings  
of people with limbs bitten off, heads missing and other massive injuries.  
"Well that is not good" Willow says shivering.

…

"They are strong" She says aloud to herself looking at Herbert's cage, it is torn to pieces. She steps on something crunchy. Looking down she sees that it's the leftovers of Herbert.

"Xander." Buffy cried jumping. "You suprised me." Xander reached out for her, trying to grab her arm.

"This is ridiculous. We need to talk." Buffy said exhaling. She fakes him out and jumps on him, knocking him down with her on top holding down his arms.

"Been waitin' for you to jump my bones." Xander growls and rolls Buffy over onto her back so he's on top and pins her arms down.

"Get OFF of me" Buffy exclaimes.

"Is that what you really want?" Xander asks as she struggles. "We both know what you really want. You want danger, don't cha? You like your men dangerous."  
"You're in trouble, Xander. You are infected with some hyena  
thing, it's like a demonic possession!" Buffy exclaims.

"Dangerous and mean, right? Like Angel. Your Mystery Guy. Well, guess who just got mean." Xander smiles while holding her down, "Look at you all vulnerable. Do you know how long... I've waited... until you'd stop pretending that we aren't attracted…"  
She throws him off of her and quickly gets up to face him. He gets up, too, and begins to approach her as she backs away. She is too frazzled, and can't think very well.  
"Until Willow... stops kidding herself... that I could settle with anyone but you?" Xander asked.  
"Look, Xander, I don't wanna hurt you…" Buffy replied slowing backing up trying to formulate a plan. He grabs her by the shoulders and pushes her against the vending machine.  
"Now do you wanna hurt me?" Xander asked smirking at her. She struggles against him, but he is too strong. He starts stroking her arms, he leans in closer and licks her neck. She shudders.  
"Come on, Slayer. I like it when you're scared." Xander taunts. "You taste delicious." She keeps struggling against him, trying to get free, she hasn't felt this vulnerable in a really long time.

"The more I scare you, the better you smell." He moves in and this time, roughly kisses her on the neck. "I know you like it, I can feel you squirming under me." He's pressing himself completely against her now, she can feel his arousal.

"I'm so glad you decided to wear a skirt" He reaches down and rips her panties off.

"Xander...don't do this, please" Buffy begs. "Please"

"Beg more little girl, beg" He laughs, shoving her roughly with one hand he unzips his pants and pulls himself out. Pushing her down he slams into her and laughs while she screams out in pain. She can feel the blood rushing down her legs. Her first time and, no she can't think this way. She can't focus on him biting and scratching as he rams himself in over and over again. She needs a plan, if she can just reach a little farther.

"Eww" Willow exclaims watching the security footage of Flootie being eaten. She looks up hearing Buffy come in. Her hair is disheveled, and her clothing is torn and there are marks all over her. "What happened?" She asks concerned.

"Hurry up. We gotta get him locked up somehow before he comes to." Buffy replied trying to shut off her emotions.

"Oh, my God, Xander! What happened?" Willow jumps up to help.

"I hit him." She replied simply.

"With what?" Willow asks incredulously.

"A desk." Buffy starts to pull him over to the cage, Willow unlocks it for her and she throws him in. She locks the cage, "There, that should hold him. Where is Giles?"

"On his way" Willow replied. "He wants us to wait here"

"Okay well when he gets here I am gonna go home. You can handle all the witchy stuff with Giles right?" Buffy stated looking down. She kept pulling at her clothes trying to cover herself up.

"Okay sure" Willow replied.

"Are they here?" Giles burst in

"They who?" Buffy asked

"The pack" Giles exclaimed. "They should be on their way here.

Willow go into my office and lock the door." Willow got up and went

no other prompting necessary.

"Buffy are you ok?" He asked taking in her appearance.

"No." She replied simply. "What do you need me to do?" They burst

through the door as soon as she finished her question.

"Keep them from eating me or any other heinous thing while I do this" Giles exclaimed.

"Alright." Buffy replied, she focused on all her anger and took them down in record time. She pushed down the normal girl inside and let the slayer take over so she didn't have to think, didn't have to feel. They were all knocked out within minutes. "Do you still need me?"

"No, I think we can handle it now" Giles replied once she had them

all in the cage locked up. "Are you alright?"

"He raped me, whatever that thing was inside him, whatever it did. I couldn't…I am going home" Buffy replied. She looked around and walked out.

"I've been reading up on my, uh, animal possession, and I cannot  
find anything anywhere about memory loss afterwards." Giles said looking at Xander.  
"Did you tell them that?" Xander asked. "I couldn't live with Buffy knowing that I remember what happened."  
"I think it is better for everyone if you don't remember that" Giles replied cleaning his glasses.  
"She'd hate me" Xander looked down in despair. Giles put his hand on Xander's shoulder and walked back to the library. Giles was safe to say worried, he was half contemplating going over to the Summer's household.

"Ring! Ring!" Giles phone in the library was going off.

"Hello?" Giles stated picking up the phone.

"You are gonna come over here right now and explain what my baby is telling me, she said you have the answers." Joyce Summers voice rang out through the phone.

"Yes, I, I will be right over" He stuttered out. He picked up some books he thought would be informational. If what he thought she was talking about was correct, it was going to be a long night.

…

"Rupert" Joyce stated looking at Giles as he walked in.

"How is she?" Giles asked.

"Giles?" Buffy called down from the top of the stairs.

"Buffy sweetie, do you feel a little better after your shower? The hot cocoa is all done" Joyce asked her voice instantly turning maternal.

"With little marshmallows?" Buffy asked coming down the stairs. Giles immediatley started cleaning his glasses when he saw her. Never could he imagine seeing her so defeated and childlike, she was wearing a sweater that reached her knees and had fuzzy pajama pants on with it. She was carrying a little stuffed pig and immediately seeked out her mom when she got down the stairs. Her hair normally bouncy and pulled back was in her face hiding her, he could see where she scrubbed her skin raw. Her slayer healing had helped the bruises and cuts, but he knew it was only on the surface. She would have wounds internally that wouldn't heal so easily.

"Mommy, I really just want to go lay down, can Giles explain it and I will answer any questions tomorrow" Buffy asked.

"Of course dear" Joyce smiled kissing her daughter on the head. She watched as her daughter ascended up the stairs before turning to the man beside her. "So my daughter is the slayer, right that isn't even why I am mad right now. I want to know why I can't call the cops on the fucking pervert that RAPED my daughter."

"Because he doesn't remember it, he was under, well possesion" Giles said blatantly. "He shouldn't be held responsible for him actions"

"What does that mean?" Joyce asked. "She still won't tell me who it was, I just…"

"Xander…" Giles said looking down as well.

"Oh god" Joyce sighed. "I need a drink, want one?" It was a long night, they both stayed up until the sun was up and talked about what it all meant, and the past and what was going to happen for Buffy, and her future.


	2. Chapter Two: Halloween

"What did ya get?" Buffy asked Willow. She was trying she really was, she wasn't in the mood to do anything. Same as always, she wasn't comfortable anymore, especially around Xander. She knew it wasn't him that did those things, but, if he could do that with a soul, even possessed what did that mean? Was that darkness always in him, was he still capable of that or was it placed in there when the hyena was placed in.

"Earth to Buffy?" Willow said waving her hand in front of Buffy's face.

"I'm sorry Wills, what did you say?"

"I picked this out" She held up a ghost costume.

"That's nice" Buffy smiled at Willow, "Ready to go?"

"What about yours?" Willow asked looking at her best friend concerned. "We could find you something Angel would like? Ooh, how about that?" She pointed at a really beautiful dress that looked like it belonged in the 1700's. It was long sleeved, and had lace and looked like something a princess would wear.

"I don't think that is in my price range" Buffy said trying to deflect her friend from all things Angel. She had tried to talk to him after the whole debacle, he couldn't understand why she didn't want to be touched or too close to him. Something about him set her on edge now, she just couldn't put her finger on what it was.

"I'll chip in for half" Willow said smiling at her. "Hey, Xander!" He walked over to her holding a bag, "What'd you get?" She asked him. He pulled out a fake army rifle from the bag and posed with the gun in an official way.  
"That isn't a costume?" Buffy said skeptically. She shut up with just one look from him. She couldn't shake the nightmares or memories that would pop into her mind from that day, Xander definitely still put her on edge and made her feel nervous.

" I got fatigues from an Army surplus at home. Call me the Two-Dollar Costume King, baby" Xander exclaimed laughing with Willow. "Did you both pick out your costumes?"

"Yep, let's hit the road" Willow replied. "We are getting ready at Buffy's, meet us over there after?"

...

"Here it comes" Spike announced, "Rewind that let's see that again" One of his minions rewinds the tape as Spikes strolls around to another monitor.

"She's tricky, baby likes to play" Spike laughs, watching her "Play it again" The scene where she stakes the vampire with the sign replays.

"You see that? The way she stakes him with that thing? That's  
what's called resourceful. Rewind it again." Spike says intensely.  
"Miss Edith needs her tea" Dru states coming into the room. She sways slightly.

"C'mere, poodle." He says holding out his hand to her.

"Do you love my insides? The parts you can't see?" She asks taking his hand.  
"Eyeballs to entrails, my sweet. That's why I've got to study this Slayer. Once I know her I can kill her. And once I kill her you can have your run of Sunnyhell. Get strong again." He kisses the side of her face.  
"Don't worry. Everything's switching. Outside to inside." She breathes into his neck "It makes her weak." She nips at his neck with her blunt teeth, pushing her nails into his arms  
"Really? Did my pet have a vision?" Spike asks perking up.  
"Do you know what I miss? Leeches." She twirls away from him laughing while she spins in circles.  
"Come on, talk to Daddy. This thing that makes the Slayer weak? When is it?" He asks imploringly.  
"Tonight" She claps happily.

"Tonight's Halloween. Nothing happens on Halloween" He looks at her sideways, "What did you see pet?"

"Someone new has come, he changed all the rules and no one sits at the same table" Dru smiled and spun out of the room.

...

Buffy scrutinizes herself in the dress, there is too much of her showing, you can see her chest, she has covered that area up everyday since she was attacked. Breathe, in, out, in, out.

"You cannot have a panic attack" She told herself. She had only had two, the first was when she first tried to go back to school and there were people all around her. She had felt like she was drowning. Luckily no had seen her have it and she calmed herself down soon enough. The second was when she came home one night and Angel was sitting in her room waiting to talk about how she had been avoiding him since they talked about the attack. She had been avoiding him, and seeing him in her room had her go through an awful panic attack. She let the Slayer side take completely over. She had only ended up throwing him out the window and revoking his invitation.

"Buffy!" Willow called from the bathroom. "We have a little problem"

"What's wrong?" Buffy rushed over to the bathroom door. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just….the sheet is see through and I didn't bring any extra clothes to

wear with me." Willow exclaimed.

"Oh" Buffy responded, "Hold on" She grabbed the bag of clothes she was going to get rid of and took it to Willow. "You can have anything you want from in there, I am getting rid of all of it."

"Thanks Buffy, being practically naked was not how I wanted to spend tonight." Willow laughed looking through the bag. Most of it was Buffy's club or date clothes. She held up a moderately short skirt and a long sleeved black shirt that was kind of revealing. It was all definitely tight, Buffy was about two sizes smaller than her in certain areas due to how little she ate and how much exercising she did. She put the clothes on and put her ghost sheet on over it.

"When are you supposed to meet Angel?" Willow asked.

"Here" Buffy sighed. "after trick or treating mom's gone away on a gallery visit. Won't be back for a couple days."

"He is gonna love you costume" Willow exclaimed walking back into Buffy's room. "Call it a blast from his past" Willow smiled encouragingly. Buffy jumps at the ringing sound.

"Oh I got It" Willow happily announces. "It's Xander, don't forget the wig and the shoes"

"Right…" Buffy looks dejected at the mirror while Willow heads out of the room to meet Xander downstairs.

"Private Harris reporting for duty!" Xander exclaims "That's a fine BOO you got there Will"

"Let's go get the kids and start this candy hunt" Willow says positively.

"Well that did NOT go positively." Willow responds looking down at Buffy laying on the ground.

"Buffy are you alright?" Willow asks

"What?" She asks looking up at Willow with big innocent eyes.

"Are you hurt?" Commando Xander asks her. She looks around helplessly.

"Buffy are you hurt?" Willow asks again.

"Buffy?" Buffy asks.

"She's not Buffy" Willow announces to Xander

"Who is Buffy?" He asks.

"Oh this is just lots of fun!" Willow exclaims. Turning to Buffy she asks. "What year is this?" Xander takes her hand and helps her up.

"1775 I believe" She replies, starting to hyperventilate "I - I don't understand. Who are you?"

"We are friends" Willow replies simply looking at her with pity.

"Friends of whom? Y - your dress...everything is strange! How did I come to be here?" She asks.

"Breathe, okay come on breathe okay?" Willow says looking at Buffy. "How are we supposed to get through this without the Slayer?" She asks Xander.

"What's a slayer?" He asks.

"A DEMON! DEMON!" Buffy shrieks and hides behind Willow and Xander, they both turn to look only to see an SUV with it's lights on driving past at a very fast pace.

"That isn't a demon. That's a car" Willow responds gently, she's trying really hard not to scare Buffy.

"What does it want?" Buffy asked inquisitively.

"Is this woman insane?" Xander asked looking at Willow.

"She hasn't ever seen a car" Willow responds simply trying to find the safest route possible.

"She's never seen a car?" Xander looked at her with disbelief.

"She is from the past" Willow said shrugging her shoulders, she didn't have time for twenty questions from both of them.

"And you are a ghost?" He asked.

"Yes!" She responded shortly. "Now let's get inside."

"I just want you to know I am taking a lot on faith currently. Where do we go?" He asked.

"To a friends" She said matter of factly and set off in direction of the Summer's house making sure they kept Buffy close.

"Where are we?" Buffy asked looking at Willow innocently once they were inside.

"Your place" Willow responded. "now we just need to…"

"Don't open it!" Willow yelled at Xander when he went to answer the banging at the door.

"Could be a civilian" He responded.

"Or a demon" Willow looked at him. Buffy had picked up a picture of the three of them , it was back before she became sad Buffy. She sees herself with short blonde hair and a pink spaghetti strap tank top.

"This….this could be me" She said setting it down not wanting to be confused anymore.

"It is you. Buffy can't you remember at all?" Willow asked imploringly.

"NO! I - I don't understand any of this. Uh..Uh.. This is some other girl. I would never wear that, that low apparel and I don't like this place and I don't like you. I just want to go home." Buffy was practically in tears.

"You ARE home!" Willow exclaimed. "She couldn't have dressed up like Xena" She mutters to herself, it isn't like the others would have any idea what she meant anyways.

Xander rushes outside when he sees a young girl being attacked by demons and brings her inside.

"Cordelia!" Willow exclaimed as Xander made sure the door was securely shut again.

"What is going ON?!" Cordelia yells.

"Okay, you name is Cordelia and you aren't a cat and we are your friends, well, kind of" Willow explained.

"And you went mental when?" Cordelia looked at her like she was stupid.

"You know us?" Willow asked relieved.

"Yea, Lucky me, what is with the name game?" Cordelia asked looking around.

"A lot is going on" Willow sighed.

"Yeah, no kidding I was just attacked by Jo-Jo the dog faced boy. Look at my costume! Do you really think partytown is gonna give me my deposit back. Not likely." She exclaims angrily. Xander and Willow both look at the tear on her sleeve.

"Here" Xander stated draping his shirt around her shoulders.

"Thanks" She looks at him weird.

"Okay you guys stay here while I go get us some help" Willow stated looking at them all. "If something tries to get in just...fight it off" she said, knowing it was hopeless looking at them.

"What?" Cordelia asked looking at Buffy like she had had a personality transplant.

"It's like amnesia. They don't know who they are. Just sit tight." Willow said rushing to go get help.

"Who died and made her boss?" Cordelia huffed. Willow walked through the wall behind her. Buffy, being the only one watching, shook her head in disbelief.

"Well isn't this just neat" Spike exclaimed looking around from down the street.

"What are you doing?" Cordelia asked Xander. He was stacking stuff in front of the door.

"You check upstairs, make sure everything is locked up" Xander exclaimed. Cordelia listened without having to be told twice, which was a miracle in itself.

"Surely there is somewhere we can go? A safe haven?" Buffy asked.

"Lady said stay put" Xander replied barely pausing from his task.

"You would take orders from a woman?" Buffy asked "A - are you f - feeble in some way?" Buffy asked trying to gain some confidence.

"Ma'am in the army we have a saying sit down and shut the" He kicked something and reached down to pick it up. "Whoa! She must be right, we must have some kind of amnesia. This is us" He held up the picture.

"I don't know what that is, but I am quite certain I don't have it. I bathe quite often." Buffy replied simply.

"How do you explain this?" He asked showing it to her.

"I don't. I was brought up a proper lady. I - I wasn't meant to understand things. I am just meant to look pretty, and then someone nice will marry me. Possibly a baron." She announced.

"This ain't no tea party princess, sooner or later you have to fight" He replied snorting at her way of thought.

"Fight? These creatures? I'd sooner die" She said crossing her arms snottily.

"Then you'll die" he said and went back to his earlier task. They both look at the doorway that noise is coming from. Angel walks through dusting his jacket off.

"Good you guys are alright. It is chaos out there." Angel announced sounding relieved.

"Who are you?" Xander asked authoritatively.

"Uhm someone want to fill me in?" Angel asked looking around confused.

"Do you live here?" Xander asked.

"No, and you know that." He replied. Turning to Buffy "Buffy" She jumps

when he addresses her, something about him sets her definitely on edge. "I'm lost here, what...what happened to your hair?" He asked getting a good look at her. Her once short blonde hair has grown down her back and turned a golden blonde color that lays on her exposed chest. He hasn't seen this much of her since the attack.

"They don't know who they are, everyone is a monster, it is a whole

big thing. How are you?" She asked smiling at him as she came back down the stairs.

When the lights go out Xander is once again the action man. "You take

the princess, catwoman you are with me" he directs Angel and Cordelia.

"I don't wanna go with you" Buffy announces as Angel goes towards

the kitchen. "I like the man with the musket."

"C'mon" Angel announced slightly irritated as he takes her arm. The kitchen door is open.

"Did you happen to leave that open?" she asks clinging to him. He quietly moves around trying to sense the intruder. He closes the kitchen door, the basement door opens and a vampire leaps out grabbing Buffy. Angel grabs him and wrestles him to the floor.

"A stake!" He exclaims on top of him.

"What?" She asks confused.

"Get me a stake!" He yells impatiently trying to hold the vampire down. Buffy looks around and goes to grab a knife.

"Hurry up!" He exclaims looking at her. She sees his bumpies and fangs, her eyes grow wide and she lets out the most bloodcurdling scream before grabbing the knife and running out.

She looks around, she in an alley, it is all so strange. She lifts her skirt just a bit and attempts to walk. She turns to look behind her, and sees a grotesque man leering at her.

"Pretty Pretty" He smiles leering at her. She lets out a shriek and starts to run. He chases after laughing. He has her trapped at a dead end. She turns, but he grabs her and pushes her again. She is accosted with visions of this happening before.

"Oh don't tremble pretty, we haven't gotten to the good stuff." He laughs running his dirty hands all over her. She can't move, it's happening again, but when did it happen before? She is so confused. He takes the knife out of her hands.

"This isn't for pretty treasure." He says cutting the sleeves off of her dress. She moves to cover her chest. He takes that opportunity to slash a slit in her dress and run his hands up her thighs.

"No" She cries, tears are streaming down her face. "Please, no"

"The lady said no" She hears a voice from out of nowhere. There is a swirl of black and then bright blue. Bright blue eyes of her saviour are staring at her.

"Are you...are you gonna hurt me too" She asks turning away in shame.

"Hey, luv, look at me" He said putting his hand on her face gently guiding her eyes back to his. "I'm gonna get you cleaned up okay?" She nodded. He gave her his duster to put on over all her ripped clothing. She was still crying as she followed him. It was silent crying but he had his arm around her and could feel the sobs.

"Come on now, I'll take care of you pet" Spike looked over at her. He couldn't believe that the slayer really was that weak, that she almost...he shuddered thinking about it.

"Are...are..you a bad guy?" She asked looking up at him with her tear filled eyes.

"Not tonight goldilocks" He said, "Come on, I got a place over here" He led her to a strip of houses that looked like they were going to be renovated.

"You'll be safe here, we can get you cleaned up?" He asked.

"I...he...I don't understand" She said collapsing against him. "There are all these images in my head."

"Images?" He asked. He knew how to discern visions, he had done it enough for Dru. "We can get you all cleaned up then you can tell ole Spike about them. How does that sound?"

"Who is Spike?" She asked testing the name out.

"That's my name" He replied looking at her scrunched up nose. "What of it?" He asked.

"That is not you name" She replied matter of factly.

"Oh really?" He asked slightly amused.

"Nope, you saved me, you must be of noble descent" She said.

"Okay, I will tell you a secret" He said looking at her. She looked up at him expectantly. "My name is William" He sheepishly looked down as they walked in.

"That is a wonderful name, The name of my hero" She replied looking at him.

"Come on let's get you cleaned up" He said and went to the closet. He had plenty of clothes for Dru. This was the place he wanted to them to live, once she got healed that was. No one knew about it yet, and he fully intended to keep it that way. Except now they slayer knew, bugger, well not the slayer, not really.

"Thank you William" She replied after she changed. He looked at her, she was wearing a pretty light purple night dress with dark purple swirls, he knew Dru never would have worn it. Looking at it on the slayer her was glad he had gotten it.

"Now why don't you tell good old Spikey about these visions of yours darling" He said sitting down on the chair next to the bed that she was laying on.

"You are going to think I am simply mad" She replied.

"All the best people all" he said smirking. She smiled a little half smile, but it was the first time he had ever made her smile, and it was brilliant.

"Okay, while that awful, man…" Thinking about it she started to cry again.

"Hey now, none of that." He said "I protected you, everything is okay."

"That is just what it is. You protected me this time! I kept seeing last time. Except it wasn't me, it was that girl that everyone simply kept insisting that I am" She cried. He climbed next to her. She reminded him of how he thought Dru might be, before Angelus got a hold of her. She laid her head on him.

"He got her, she fought and struggled and he still...she was so weak and helpless. Just like me, it was...simply treacherous. She felt so broken, she still does. I don't understand, I don't know how…" She said and held on to him as her tears started to come out. He felt when she changed back to Buffy, yet she just kept crying and holding onto him.

"I don't think I can do this, the things he did to me, I feel so dirty, I just want to disappear. He constantly…" She just held onto him and cried. This was a situation he did not know how to handle at all, sure he could take care of a helpless damsel, a helpless slayer? The only way he liked helpless slayers was when he was the one making them that way.

"Spike...do it" She said looking at him, the tears in her eyes bore all the way into his soulless heart.

"Do what exactly pet?" He asked, he didn't know why he was nervous.

"End it" she said, there was no light in her eyes, she just wanted it to

be over. Not because she was tired of the fight, and he knew that, but because some wanker had stolen her light and she hadn't gotten it back.


End file.
